Are the relationships in your life fueling you or draining you?
Are the relationships in your life fueling you or draining you? This is a question many of us overlook, staying tied to people out of habit, history, or fear of awkwardness. Maybe it’s the friend you’ve known since fifth grade or the coworker you occasionally run into around town.
Whatever the case, it’s time to reassess whether these connections are serving you—or silently draining your energy.
Some of us stay loyal to a fault, clinging to relationships that no longer align with who we are or where we’re headed. But here’s the truth: Every relationship costs you something, consciously or unconsciously. It’s up to you to determine whether the investment is worth the return.
The Power of Reciprocity in Relationships
At the foundation of valuable relationships lies reciprocity—the mutual give and take that sustains and strengthens our connections. Yet, many relationships lack this balance. Whether it’s you always giving or always taking, an imbalance can leave one party feeling unseen, unsupported, or even resentful.
Ask yourself: What chair are you sitting in within this relationship? Are you the giver, the taker, or the mutual partner who both gives and receives? To foster healthier connections, it’s essential to acknowledge not only your capacity but also the capacity of those around you. Open communication about expectations and limitations can go a long way in preventing burnout and frustration.
Reassessing Your Connections
Reevaluating relationships isn’t a one-time task—it’s a mindful practice. I personally reflect on my relationships quarterly, asking myself:
How have I been showing up for others?
How have they been showing up for me?
Are these connections mutual, supportive, and respectful?
Friendship burnout is real. When relationships become one-sided or emotionally draining, it’s time to reassess. As the saying goes, people come into your life for a reason or a season. However, the foundation of that reason should always be mutual respect and understanding.
Seven Keys to Reassessing Your Relationships
If you’re unsure where to start, consider these seven key areas for reflection:
MutualityAre respect, check-ins, and support reciprocal? Do both parties show up consistently, or does the relationship ebb and flow with the wind?
EnergyDo these relationships fuel you or drain you? If the thought of seeing someone exhausts you, it’s time to ask why.
ValuesDo your values align? Misaligned values can cause tension and frustration, making it difficult to maintain a meaningful connection.
GrowthDoes this person support your growth, or are they stuck in judgment and negativity?
BoundariesAre your boundaries respected? Healthy relationships honor and reinforce personal boundaries rather than crossing or dismissing them.
TimeIs your time respected and valued? Or are you constantly giving without seeing any return?
CommunicationIs your communication honest and healthy, or do you find yourself bottling up emotions until there’s a rupture?
Actionable Steps to Realign
Reassessing relationships doesn’t always mean cutting ties—it can also mean recalibrating. Here are some steps to take:
Journal Your Feelings: Write about your interactions and emotions for 30 days. Look for themes to identify what’s working and what’s not.
Reassess Your Boundaries: Clearly define, communicate, and reinforce your boundaries.
Have Honest Conversations: A single conversation can mend misunderstandings or confirm your instincts.
Moving Forward
Relationships should add value to your life, not drain it. When you reflect on your connections, ask yourself:
Does this relationship bring me joy or exhaustion?
Am I staying out of obligation or genuine love?
The history of a relationship can’t outweigh its present impact. Trust the data from your reflections, make adjustments where necessary, and don’t be afraid to have open conversations.
When we take the time to reassess and realign, we not only protect our energy but also open space for meaningful, impactful relationships to flourish.
Want to listen to Dr. Dominique Pritchett talk through these topics, listen to the Space for Sistas® Podcast at www.spaceforsistas.com/podcast.
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